WTFing My Way Through

It’s funny how life rolls. If we can expect anything at all, it’s adherance to the old adage about change being the single constant. It’s made up of a succession of highs and lows and ups and downs. It’s John Travolta circa 1975 to John Travolta early 90’s to John Travolta Battlefield Earth. And sometimes, it’s like riding the world’s best roller coaster only to get smacked in the face with a goose.

And so with all that in mind, here I am again: WTFing my way through. If I’d paid any real attention, I’d remember, of course, that life has taught me over and over again that we’re never done with our challenges – or lessons, when stated more aptly. I mean, that’s sort of a chicken/egg scenario, I guess, but in the end, seems Alannis had it right.

Now, truth, I gots me some shit on my plate with my whole car situation, and I truly have no idea how to do what it is I want to continue to do (Trip with Trix). I am sucking off the teat of generosity, as my people – my very loving friends who absolutely are my family – are assisting me in so many ways during this little life slump. They see my value when I’m struggling to see it myself at the very moment, while I instead whip my psyche over a decision to leave my safe and comfortable home and job a few months back – a decision I’m struggling to appreciate right now. I thought I was prepared for this, but the truth is I feel as shitty about my own self-imposed problems as I do gratitude for my friends who love me in spite of them.

But. I’ve fallen before – at my own hand, at that. And I’ve gotten up before, as well, giving myself grace at the speed at which I’m learning the most basic of lessons: the theory of gravity. And I will do it again: pick myself up, dust off my chinos and walk my talk, clinging both frightfully and in fascination alongside the other parasites clinging to the skin of the big ol’ blue ball of biodiversity spinning around and rolling along a massive, vast, empty space. Maybe puts things into perspective some. Maybe.

Blue balls

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