Nom Nom… Huh?

My girl Brenda, one of the BIC members and a friend of more than 30 years, has a very weird indulgence for her sweet tooth. It involves the ever delicious Oreos with a dollop of plain ol’ yellow mustard. Since I love her, I won’t judge her, but it seems this odd little habit should’ve reared its ugly head years ago to give me an opportunity to maybe do so. (And for those of you not following along, A.) Boooooooo, and 2.) You can read about the BIC here.)

My personal unusual go-to confectionary treat is salted french fries with softened vanilla ice cream (non-dairy, of course), the crispy fried potato a ready utensil. Oh, how the savory and sweet go perfectly together – like bacon cooked with brown sugar! Yummmmmers!

As a vegetarian who loves A-1 sauce (and dreams of sugared bacon), I put it on anything potato – baked, mashed, fried, delish. Fritos with cream cheese and BBQ sauce? One of my favorite snacks ever. And I’ll take a bomb peanut butter pickle veggieburger anytime, thank you very much.

Cheese on apple pie, anyone? (YUM.) Mac n Cheese with scrambled eggs? (Gross.) Cheetos cereal? (Huh??)

Well, I suppose to each his own but come on. Spaghetti Os, Ramen, Fruit Loops and weiner together? Yeah, nope. Not even after smoking a big fat blunt- ain’t gonna happen! I’d likely eat an actual steak than any of those things on their own – especially the weiner – not to mention when they’re all stuffed together in one bun! Ugh.

So, there we are – every one of us a freak in our way, some more freaky than others. I respect that we all have the right to eat whatever we choose, for the most part, but please don’t invite me to a dinner party with weiners. And to be clear, I mean the tube steak. Penises? They’re always welcome.

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