I wasn’t quite sure if this was a “thing” with most cats – for all I knew, my Trixie was just as weird as most of the four-legged, often – but not always – rancorous and malevolent felines. They are, after all, a breed on their own. But, as it turns out, the range of personality traits of cats is referred to as the ‘Feline Five’, and they are each as different as they are the same. 

Neuroticism, extraversion, dominance, impulsivity and tolerance.

Yeah, think over the years I’ve had one of each, some who bundled a bunch of traits, and even one or two who epitomized the whole lot. Miss Trixie, I think, in her Tortitude manner is mostly neurotic, let’s be honest, with a smidge of impulsivity related largely to her neurosis. After researching things, though, my old friend Google wants me to know that, while these are characteristics of the Tortie, my cat is only as neurotic and impulsive as her owner. Ummmm. And shit. 

So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised she digs carbs so much. I mean, given her Mama is the big influence after all, bring on the bread, pasta and potatoes – no joke.

And further, turns out digging carbs IS a thing with most cats – with on average kittens choosing to get 43% of their calorie intake from carbs, and 30% from protein – although that doesn’t exactly seem like a fair poll. I mean, it’s not like they chose A, B, or C, and signed their name at the last. Trixie, at least, is famous for the shit stamp poop print that she so often leaves on my pillows or sheets after dropping a deuce in her litter box. So, there’s that as far as a fair survey goes. 

Still, carbs ain’t good for my baby so here I am, giving her a fresh start without ‘em – no more big concerns about obesity or diabetes mellitus. But I’ll be honest about my own consumption… Hey, if I ain’t drinking, Ima want me all of the breads, and the pastas, and the potatoes. Bring it, Bitches.    

And for now? We’ll just set aside the neurosis and impulsivity that my Trix may be taking away from her owner – mostly because hopefully those traits will take both of us to new, far away, fun places. Fingers crossed, baby!